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Blank Programmer.

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So, I'm honestly doing this post out of my mind, Not thinking what I'm going to say next and so on, so excuse my rambling. I've been working around c# for quite a while, and I believe I am ... competent with it. Nothing outstanding and I am constantly forgetting simple things I need to go to look things up. But I don't know if I should consider myself a programmer, I kind of feel ashamed. I learnt my programming working with Unity3D. Programming for years in the only c# around Unity 3d kinda makes me ashamed I even class myself as a programmer, Since if I ever move away from unity, there will not be "GameObjects" and "Transform" for example. Everything extra is already done for me in the background, like a crutch for a programmer. And it's kind of embarrassing, I want to be able to call myself a programmer and use that crutch not as a necessity, but for something to take tediousness away. What brings me onto my next point. Unity3D. I do recognise it is a very good game engine but has so much bad press about it, Its hated by a lot of gamers, and I am now thinking I don't really want to be ... connected with it. Coming back to what I just said, I cannot escape it, I only know how to program in c# IN UNITY ... Wow, this is really rambly, I'll get to my questions in a moment. I seem to be stuck in a loop at the moment, I start something, and ditch it, throw it away, delete it when I really get started on it, Or even after I have created the project, stare at my screen for a few seconds, and then think ... No, this is stupid, it isn't going to work. ... And I am finding it difficult to think of ANYTHING interesting to start on. Or at least, something that keeps my interest. My questions are ... (I'm so sorry if you went through and read all of those madmen ramblings) What path should I take now? I don't know if unity is best for me, I want to aspire to not have to rely on crutches to make something. After reading my rambling, have you been through this? For me, it seems like years I've had to battle with this block. What do you suggest? As I said, I'm sorry, I don't really post much, so I'm kinda new to this whole "formal" asking online. I'm very much an introvert haha.

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