I think I might be with a team that is deep within development hell and they are all in denial about it. I have been working on a project with a small group and we all have no previous experience or educational background. The guy who had pulled us altogether had an idea for a game but the story is so confusing and convoluted after 3 years of working on this project... I still have no idea whats going on with the story. All I can say is its a platformer with a large explorable map and systems and mechanics dreamed up so grand out of all the 100 things he wants in the game we still only have 2 mechanics down. Every time I have tried to throw my voice in and suggest maybe we should put a pin in this idea and focus on smaller experiences so we can build our skills up and tackle it later when we know more of what we are doing, I get shot down. I'm told, "oh it will only take a year to make this game" of which both I and the artist look at each other very doubtful each time he says that.
So leaving out the backstabbing power plays a certain member of the team kept using which blocked me from having access to the game so I couldn't test out my work for myself, phage requests on what they wanted animated which lead to me redoing animation more time then I think was needed. I mean I redid the run animation over 60 times and in the end, they chose to use the very first freaking one I made! Whenever I tried to think logically and ask for a group meeting to talk about characters and how they move so I could get a better idea of what to do I was told "No, no, no this back and forth is a faster way of working"....again run animation took 60 attempts before they used the first run cycle I made.
In the end, we weren't working towards making the whole game, it took us 2 years and 5 months to make a demo of the game. Then our programmer disappeared and also took with him the code for the game. We should have stepped away from that game and accepted, for the moment that it might be time to take a break from it and focused on crafting smaller experiences to build up our skills and our group's portfolio but no that wasn't to be. We where to start again from scratch, new programmer, new textures and level designs and new rigs and animations. 3 years of work has gone down the drain and now I have to start again... the only problem is I can't bring my self to do the work.
I have become stagnant where I am and I feel like its time I should move on. I want to try and do things my way and start small and work my way up and not plunge headfirst into a project that feels like an ocean in scale for a small team. I want to focus on my own skills and learn new ones and understand more than just one trait in the spectrum of game design. Though since I have been with the team for so long and put so much time and money into this venture...I'm scared to walk away. Though on the other hand how long are we gonna spend on this game, is it gonna be another year like the lead designer said (again and again) or will it be another 3 and all we will have to show for it is a shiny new demo and none of the full game...
Should I suck it up and try and kick my butt back into gear or is this the time to step away and look into new possibilities?
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