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critique wanted for one liners in a game.... (funny / not funny / good / bad / shoot me)

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Hi there, so we are working on a new game that will feature a sci-fi pirate setting with plenty of humour in the game. After some thoughts on some one-liners that will feature in the game after certain encounters depending on if you win or lose or if a draw, Some are lifted from films and tweeked a bit and some are pirate sayings that are (hopefully) updated a bit more sci-fi? NO QUARTER GIVEN! A PIRATES LIFE FOR ME! WHO NEEDS HONOR WHEN YOU HAVE A SHIP FULL OF LOOT? OFTEN IMITATED NEVER EQUALED STRIKE ME DOWN AND I'LL BECOME MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE. THE PIRATE CODE IS MORE WHAT YOU'D CALL 'GUIDELINES' THAN ACTUAL RULES YOU CARGO BAY CUBICLE COSMIC CRUSTACEAN SON OF A FREEZE DRIED BISCUIT EATER! IN SPACE, NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU CRY SMOKING... YOUR SHIP I MEAN. DONT FIGHT FAIR, FIGHT PIRATE! AHOY MATEY! SAVVY? NO SAVVY? DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES EAT BURNING LASER BEAMS YOU SCALLYWAG SCURVEY PANDORIAN DOG! THE ONLY LAW HERE IS GRAVITY STOP BLOWING HOLES IN ME SHIP! YOU WONT LIKE ME WHEN IM ANGRY AND BOY AM I ANGRY! THIS IS ALL YOU'VE GOT? I'LL GET YOU BACK. BUT I'LL GIVE YOU A HEAD START WHILE I FIX MY SHIP NO HONOR AMONGST THIEVES! THIS IS SUPPLY AND DEMAND. I DEMAND YOUR GOLD AND YOU SUPPLY IT! WHY ARE WE ALWAYS OUT OF RUM? DONT MAKE IT SO EASY NEXT TIME FOR ME? YOUR SHIP LOOKS SO PRETTY WHEN ITS IN FLAMES THAT LOOKS LIKE ITS GOING TO BE EXPENSIVE TO FIX OOOOOW.... THAT LOOKED PAINFUL FROM HERE! EVER CONSIDERED A DIFFERENT CAREER? YOU MAKE A RUBBISH PIRATE! YOU MAKE A POOR PIRATE BUT A GOOD TARGET SHIELDS. A CAPTAINS BEST FRIEND COME FIND ME WHEN YOU'VE LEARNT HOW TO FIGHT REVENGE IS BEST SERVED IN THE COLD VACUM OF SPACE NEXT TIME YOU'RE GOING TO PAY SHOOT FIRST, THEN SHOOT SOME MORE IM GOING TO OPEN UP A CAN OF WHOOP-ASS SO BIG YOU'LL THINK IT WAS A BLACK HOLE DID YOU SEE THAT? BECAUSE IM NOT DOING IT AGAIN! WALK LIKE A PIRATE, TALK LIKE A PIRATE, SHOOT LIKE A PARROT YOU LOOK MORE LIKE A PEACOCK THAN A PIRATE THIS ISNT THE LAST YOU'LL HEAR OF ME! IVE SEEN GARBAGE HULKS BETTER LOOKING THAN YOUR SHIP HELLO ME PRETTIES DONT RESPECT ME, FEAR ME STOP RUNNING AWAY, YOU'RE HARDER TO HIT WHEN YOU KEEP MOVING HAHAHA! YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT ME? ONLY WENCHES CRY... AND YOU BE CRYING NOTHING LOOKS QUITE AS GOOD AS OTHER PEOPLES LOOT PREPARE TO BE BORDED! SO YOU WANT A REMATCH? YOU MIGHT BE MORE STUPID THAN YOU LOOK TIME FOR A GOOD KEELHAULING YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF REPLICATED RUM WANT TO PARLEY NOW? TAKE WHAT YOU CAN AND GIVE NOTHING BACK IM COMING FOR YOU, OR SOMEONE THAT LOOKS A LOT LIKE YOU WITH A SIMILAR NAME. YOU CALL YOURSELF A CAPTAIN? YOU COULDNT CAPTAIN A GIRLS NETBALL TEAM WE CAME, WE SAW, WE KICKED YOUR @$$! ITS GOOD TO BE THIS BAD BEING EVIL JUST COMES NATURALLY DRINK UP ME HEARTIES... WE'VE ALL THE PLUNDER! YOU COULDNT HIT A SPACE STATION WITH SHOOTING LIKE THAT TAKE FROM THE RICH AND KEEP FOR ME YOUR EGO IS AS BIG AS A GALAXY, PITY YOU CANT BACK IT UP? YOUR HEAP OF JUNK JUST GOT A FREE MAKEOVER... YOU CAN THANK ME LATER Nothing personal.Its just... good business. THE BIGGER YOU ARE, THE EASIER YOU ARE TO HIT! YOU ARE LIKE YOUR SHIP, A RELIC THAT SHOULD BE RETIRED YOU HAVE A PARTICULAR SET OF SKILLS... SADLY NONE ARE MUCH HELP RIGHT NOW ALL THAT GLITTERS... IS MINE! HAVE THAT BROADSIDE UP YOUR REAR! AVAST YE BILGE SUCKING BLAGGARD NO QUARTER GIVEN! DEPLOY THE FRIGGING LASER! LETS NOT RESORT TO NAME CALLING YOU GUTTER SNAKE YOU SIR, HAVE THE BACKBONE OF A JELLYFISH! NEVER SEEN SUCH A SORRY CREW. YOU COULDNT BEAT A HALF DEAD SPACE SLUG! YOU CANT TAKE THE SKY FROM ME YOU JUST MADE YOUR FIRST AND LAST MISTAKE! BLOW THE MAN DOWN THEY SAY, BUT ID RATHER BLOW YOU UP A POX ON YOU AND ALL YOUR KIND YOU'RE NOTHING BUT LUNAR SHARK BAIT OUTGUNNED, OUTFOUGHT AND OUTTHOUGHT NEVER TRUST A PIRATE IM A BLACK HEARTED SCOUNDREL CALL THAT A SHIP? THIS FLAG SAYS I WILL FIGHT UNTIL ONLY MY BONES REMAIN I THINK OF YOU AS A FLYING LOOTBOX THAT GOLD LOOKED HEAVY. I DID YOU A FAVOUR BUY TAKING IT YOU LOOK LIKE A PIRATE BUT YOU FIGHT LIKE A LITTLE GIRL? I HAVE MORE SKILL IN MY LITTLE FINGER THAN YOUR WHOLE CREW YOU SHOOT LIKE A MAN WITH 2 EYEPATCHES ON WHO ARE YOU...? NOPE NEVER HEARD OF YOU DO YOU WIPE YOUR BUM WITH THAT HOOK? fortune eludes those who are ill-equipped If I don't kill a man every now and then, they forget who I am! THIS HAPPENS WHEN YOU FLY TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN. YOU GET BURNED! If you had a sister and a dog... I would choose the dog. CURSE YOUR SUDDEN BUT INEVITABLE BETRAYAL YOU CANT WIN THEM ALL FIGHT ME AGAIN WHEN YOU CAN GROW A BEARD MY GRANNY'S MORE SCARY THAN YOU LOT GUTTER STRUMPET GUTLESS KNAVE! NO CRYING OVER STOLEN GOLD! FIRE IN THE HOLE... AND THERES A FEW OF THEM IN YOUR SHIP! And yes, we know that some of these are bad... but thats supposed to be in the humour side of things, so its so bad its good (maybe?) Ben@Weedo Game

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